Trust Without Knowing

Without knowing, I am currently dreaming.

Well, actually I am sweetly reminiscing about how I started my first day in Paris with one simple plan: to walk the ‘Black Paris Tour’. This curious experience was set at a decent price of £15. It was my first time in Paris and I was alone and sticky hot and I loved it. To my surprise, the tour was filled with funny, engaging, open-minded folks— some who turned out to be fellow advocates for Black Women wellness and liberation, I found out that others were neighbors, yet we all shared mutual interest in learning and exploring and connecting.

One person in particular stood out, Natasha. She and I ended up spending the rest of the day together. As we absorbed the romance, beauty and buzzing warmth of Paris, we allowed our stories about life, joy, terror and love to ooze out of us. That person became a big sister to me! And years later, she became a beloved neighbor while I lived in Atlanta, Georgia and a huge supporter of my work and life. Letting go and accepting the beauty of the unknown has brought much beauty and fullness in my life. For this, I am forever grateful.

I felt so light and airy after listening to the Black history of Paris, drinking a half liter of sangria, and feeling that tingling feeling you get when you know you’re on the right path. I carried my great grandmother’s silk scarf to remind myself that my journey is not my own. That I am connected to her and she to me – beyond time and metaphysical dimensions.

I’m grateful to be able to carry her memory with me in my experience of levity, romance, glee, bliss. I’m grateful to embody the principle of “trusting without knowing” so that I can meet gorgeous souls on my journey. Memories such as these give me hope.

Trust

If I can feel my great grandmother’s love during moments of bliss, surely her spirit will comfort me in moments of agony. If I can trust without knowing but never stop showing up, perhaps I can trust life to balance my sorrows with joys.

This week feels heavy af but I am comforted in knowing that joie de vivre was once lodged in my chest. It means it can be revived again. Maybe, if I just keep connected to my soul tribe, if I just keep breathing, if I never surrender my dreams.

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